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Psychoanalysis for issues in the primary relationship

The primary relationship has a completely different operating system unlike friendships, working relationships and family ties. It is the meeting of two separate individuals who commit to building a life together founded on intimacy, honesty and mutual respect. As life unfolds every unrepaired hurt builds resentment and it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on the attractors that brought the two of you together. With our brain wired for a recency bias, the now feels overwhelmingly difficult and when communication breaks-down, you yearn for a reconnection but you don’t know where to start. Psychoanalysis offers you to space to start with yourself, your questions, your fears, your emotions and work from there to get a clearer picture of what is your role in reaching where you have reached in your primary relationship.

The primary relationship has a completely different operating system unlike friendships, working relationships and family ties. It is the meeting of two separate individuals who commit to building a life together founded on intimacy, honesty and mutual respect. As life unfolds every unrepaired hurt builds resentment and it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on the attractors that brought the two of you together. With our brain wired for a recency bias, the now feels overwhelmingly difficult and when communication breaks-down, you yearn for a reconnection but you don’t know where to start. Psychoanalysis offers you to space to start with yourself, your questions, your fears, your emotions and work from there to get a clearer picture of what is your role in reaching where you have reached in your primary relationship.

The primary relationship has a completely different operating system unlike friendships, working relationships and family ties. It is the meeting of two separate individuals who commit to building a life together founded on intimacy, honesty and mutual respect. As life unfolds every unrepaired hurt builds resentment and it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on the attractors that brought the two of you together. With our brain wired for a recency bias, the now feels overwhelmingly difficult and when communication breaks-down, you yearn for a reconnection but you don’t know where to start. Psychoanalysis offers you to space to start with yourself, your questions, your fears, your emotions and work from there to get a clearer picture of what is your role in reaching where you have reached in your primary relationship.

You are

You feel

You believe

  1. You started off with lots of understanding, reciprocity and love. Over the years, you both or one of you has compromised your stand and your needs. Now that you both are redrawing the boundaries, the conflicts have gone up and you wonder if it was better off the way it was.

  1. You started off with lots of understanding, reciprocity and love. Over the years, you both or one of you has compromised your stand and your needs. Now that you both are redrawing the boundaries, the conflicts have gone up and you wonder if it was better off the way it was.

  1. You started off with lots of understanding, reciprocity and love. Over the years, you both or one of you has compromised your stand and your needs. Now that you both are redrawing the boundaries, the conflicts have gone up and you wonder if it was better off the way it was.

  1. The fights have gotten more and more acrimonious over the years but so have the entanglements. Whenever you push for clarity and resolution all you get is a stonewall. You are frustrated and angry and whatever you are trying is widening the gap.

  1. The fights have gotten more and more acrimonious over the years but so have the entanglements. Whenever you push for clarity and resolution all you get is a stonewall. You are frustrated and angry and whatever you are trying is widening the gap.

  1. The fights have gotten more and more acrimonious over the years but so have the entanglements. Whenever you push for clarity and resolution all you get is a stonewall. You are frustrated and angry and whatever you are trying is widening the gap.

  1. You want space, freedom, independence but your situational constraints prevent you from putting your needs out there. You are in a double bind. You lose if you talk, you lose if you don’t.

  1. You want space, freedom, independence but your situational constraints prevent you from putting your needs out there. You are in a double bind. You lose if you talk, you lose if you don’t.

  1. You want space, freedom, independence but your situational constraints prevent you from putting your needs out there. You are in a double bind. You lose if you talk, you lose if you don’t.

  1. Your last relationsip/ situationship/ ____ship has left you questioning whether you want to go through the whole process again. You swing between moments of wanting to be all by yourself and moments of deeply wanting a caring, loving, understanding partnership.

  1. Your last relationsip/ situationship/ ____ship has left you questioning whether you want to go through the whole process again. You swing between moments of wanting to be all by yourself and moments of deeply wanting a caring, loving, understanding partnership.

  1. Your last relationsip/ situationship/ ____ship has left you questioning whether you want to go through the whole process again. You swing between moments of wanting to be all by yourself and moments of deeply wanting a caring, loving, understanding partnership.

Photo by Barbara Smaller

The human being is a social animal and long-term mutually satisfying relationships are one of the best predictors of good health. With so many distractions out there, the resilience required to see through difficult phases with honesty, vulnerability and openness seems to be difficult to come by. The solution of walking away, closing yourself down, immersing yourself in work or other relationships develops a pattern of not addressing the core issue which resurfaces with a vengeance. Understanding and working with your attachment style, your defenses and personality structure gives you a picture of why you and your relationships are the way they are and how they can be better aligned, mutually rewarding and harmonious.

Sudhir Ghodke

Sudhir Ghodke

Sudhir Ghodke

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