Two Worlds

There are two worlds we move through, staying sometimes more in one than the other.

The first world I call the world of conditionality

And

The second world I call the world of unconditionality

The first world of conditionality is the world we “generally” “see” around us. It has time as we understand it. Every day starts, progresses, and goes past in a cyclical manner. We are conditioned to get up, get ready, go for/ do our work, finish our day, and retire for the night. The routine most of the time gives us comfort and we are also comforted by the predictability of our day and our life. This conditional world feels a bit like running on a treadmill. This social treadmill “rewards” us with social markers of success like a growing bank account, and we feel we are “progressing” in this world of conditionality. But we also feel drained while we “work” in this conditional world because we almost always have our eye on the return that we expect and only rarely if ever do we feel rewarded adequately. 

When we work “FOR” money or for power or or to be "relevant" or for keeping us “occupied” or because it is our DUTY we are working within the framework of a conditional world. The “harder” we work, the more linear the results are or, so we are told. This is the world of,

“I have to do this because….”,

“I should do this otherwise….”.

“I have to ______by the time I am ____ (age)…..” (earn/ have a house/ have a child...)

“I can’t do this because ________ (age/ sex/ background/ my current skill-set) ….”

"I have to do this for _____ because if I don't he/she/they will ________..."

In the world of unconditionality, time is non-linear. An hour does not have any predefined boundaries. In this world, embedded in every repetitive pattern there is a gateway or doorway to take a detour, a meander, a divergence. The detour, the divergence, the serendipity does not necessarily seem like it has a goal or a definitive outcome, but the detour enriches us and our journey in some interminable way. We inhabit this world of unconditionality when we do something because it answers a deep call within. It might be work or play or even nothing. The only reward if at all in this world is a feeling of expansion. The work that fulfills us lives in this world. The returns are not directly proportional because there is no one-to-one mapping in this world. Something that comes to mind is the course on “Fonts” that Steve Jobs serendipitously took in college, which “eventually” helped him in making the Apple GUI so elegant.

The results in the world of unconditionality are mostly invisible to the naked eye and mostly compounded. 99% of Warren Buffett’s wealth was earned after his 50th birthday!! The lesson to take is that Warren Buffett built his wealth slowly over the years, decade by decade and through a lot of hard work and perseverance.

It might seem that the world of unconditionality lacks discipline or rigour or perseverance. Quite to the contrary. Deep down inside we all know what is good for us and what fulfils us deeply and to follow the path after knowing what it is DOES require perseverance..

Is one of these world's better than the other? I am increasingly sure that one of them is (the world of unconditionality), because the markers of the world of unconditionality resonate with me. These markers may not resonate with you or they may not be a priority for you now but my hypothesis is that the world of unconditionality is very closely aligned to our Self and sooner than later you will see the results of living in the world of unconditionality for yourself.

For me the markers for living in the world of unconditionality are as follows 

1. Our dependence on the external world, for a positive/ calm/ fulfilled state of mind, reduces over time. We depend less on our jobs or our work, or on the people around us, or on our families to define who we are or to keep us on the positive side of things.

2. Our mental, physical, and emotional health improves over time, as we age. Our bodies radiate wisdom which makes it surplus of energy and makes us powerfully attractive to people around us. Our bodies are inherently very intelligent, and they blossom (heal) when they live in the world of unconditionality.

3. We can forgive more and more naturally

4. We can see and move towards accepting our multifacetedness (including our darkness)

5. We can see and move towards accepting the multifacetedness (including the darkness) in those close to us

So, if there are such powerful positives in living in the world of unconditionality, why do we spend most of our time in the world of conditionality? My hypotheses are as follows

1. It is safer to live in the world of conditionality because we crave feedback and positive affirmation that we are on the “right” track

2. We also crave to be accepted and validated by those close to us and if they are living in the world of conditionality they directly or indirectly “reward” us if we are living there too.

3. The world of unconditionality needs a certain level of strength either inherent in us or in the form of a mentor/ guide/ partner whose presence will help us navigate the world of unconditionality. Over time, being around a mentor or guide or partner will help us build this strength, but we need to start somewhere and ideally with someone.

4. Saying NO is in some way seen unfavorably (mostly seen as selfish). We need to learn to say NO to a host of things that come our way, which seem to “give us what we want” but the deep question we need to ask ourselves is that if we only had a few days/ weeks/ months to live would we do or be what we are being asked or offered. The answer to this question will help us choose wisely

5. Finally, is it easier to live in the world of conditionality given that it is familiar, safe and celebrated.

An interesting thought exercise that I am proposing to you is, to first engage with this proposition of two worlds and see how it resonates with you. If it does, then take the next step to become more aware of your choices and how they impact the time and your self, you invest in which world.